Shane's 33rd & 34th Birthdays

In transferring Shane's site from another server, I have combined some of his pages. Hugs, Dj

Shane, I cant believe that you would be 33 July 17, not possible, not my firstborn son. Its been 10 yrs but time hasnt erased one thing, my love, my pain, my missing you more with each and every passing day. I pray that you knew how much you were loved and am blessed that our family never was ashamed to show our love for each other. Its harder each year son. I had decided this year not to make a bday page for you but knew that I had to, I have to keep the memory of you in everyone's heart. You will always be in mine but I wish I could find words to describe tob others how special you were, what a special person God made when He made you . I am sure there are no bdays in heaven cause every day is special there but please know you are so loved and missed down here. See you soon, my son, Mom My darling Shane, You would be 33 on this day, Why , my child, did it have to be this way? I pray to God every day, that you know I'd give for just 1 tiny hug and little kiss. I know the time is not the same in heaven, where you now are, I can see you so very clear when I close my eyes., even though you are so very far. Words cant describe the horrible pain I feel within my heart, The pain of losing you, having to part. Some sweet day, we will reunite and never say good-by again, My firstborn son, my confidante, and always my very best friend. If I could just see your handsome face, kiss you one last time, Just to bring a moments peace into my heart, precious son Wait for me, for I will be entering those golden gates very soon, We know not the hour, morning, night, or noon. I'll see you soon, my sweet sweet son and will try hard not to cry. I will forever love and miss you but will be joining you when I die. Love you Shane, Mom

Shane, how is it possible, how can it be? I didnt even get to see you turn 23. Yet, now you are going to be 34, celebratibg this birthday in heaven with Jesus and all your angel friends. How I wish I could be there with you and assure you I will love you til the end of time and past eternity, My son, my child, my angel, you will always be. Happy Birthday my Darling, although I cannot give you gifts and cards to show how much I love you and always will, But I can send you thoughts thru my mind,Im always thinking of you, For me, you are with me still. I see the signs you send to me, the butterflies, smell of Drakar, phone ringing, lights turning on. I know these are all signs from you to let me know you are not completely gone. Oh my son, what I'd give to see you and tell you face to face, Happy birthday, I love you more than life itself, no one can ever take your place. Love you Shane, Mom By DJ French 6//2006

Happy 34th Birthday Shane Shane, how is it possible, how can it be? I didnt even get to see you turn 23. Yet, now you are going to be 34, celebratibg this birthday in heaven with Jesus and all your angel friends. How I wish I could be there with you and assure you I will love you til the end of time and past eternity, My son, my child, my angel, you will always be. Happy Birthday my Darling, although I cannot give you gifts and cards to show how much I love you and always will, But I can send you thoughts thru my mind,Im always thinking of you, For me, you are with me still. I see the signs you send to me, the butterflies, smell of Polo, phone ringing, lights turning on. I know these are all signs from you to let me know you are not completely gone. Oh my son, what I'd give to see you and tell you face to face, Happy birthday, I love you more than life itself, no one can ever take your place. Love you Shane, Mom By DJ French 6//2006

I try to follow God and I know that He answers our prayers and I try to always follow Him. But there is not one mother who has lost her child that hasnt questioned God at times. This is the most painful journey that anyone will walk through and as humans, its impossible not to question this loss. We will never know the answers but we still have the questions. I have been in a rut lately that I just cant seem to crawl out of and this poem expresses what I am feeling. GBU, DJ

Why????? Another year, where did it go? Each day is filled with thoughts of you, I pray that this you know. Tears fall without warning, my heart floods over, I literally cannot breathe. I question God, why God why? Why did Shane have to leave? You promise us in Your Word that You'll never put more on us than we can bear. But Lord, I feel this is too much, didnt You see this, didnt You care? I fight so hard just to make it through another day. I pray for this to just be a bad dream, Lord, why did it have to end this way? I know that You know all things, present, future, and past, Why did You allow this to happen? Shane was taken away so fast. No good-bys, no one last hug, not even I'll see you in awhile. How can I go on without him, how can I go another mile? Somedays I dont even have the strength or the will to get out of bed. I just cant bear the thought of trying so hard to make it thru, my precious Shane is dead. This thought comsumes me, I want to just lay down and die. The will to live was taken with him, all I do is cry. God, You knew I wasnt strong, You knew the bond we had, how we were so very close, so tight. Since he went away, nothing has been right. I have clung to Your promises in the Bible ever since I learned to read. I always tried to follow You, always follow Your lead. I never once thought of losing one of my children, my own, I knew You were always with us, we were never all alone. I know we arent supposed to question Your mysterious ways, But I will never understand, why Shane couldnt stay? He was our reason to live, he taught us so much, an old soul for a young man, so much older than his years, The hurt just wont go away, the missing, the pain,the love all bring on more tears. I know that You help to get thru each day cause I not longer care, You must give me the strength to get up, all I can think about is how this is so unfair. I know You must have needed him, a job for him to do, I know You will keep him safe, But God, I look for him everywhere, nobody can ever take his place. Please, God, take care of him until I enter those pearly gates, Oh to see his precious face, kiss and hug him again, I just cant wait. I know we will never be separated again, for all eternity, This knowledge fills me with such joy, when I think of all we'll see. All our loved ones,together again, with You as Our Savior, our King, Angels singing constantly, Oh let their praises ring! Shane, know that I love you more than life, you're always in my heart. I'll join you one day in that land where you are, where we will never have to part. No pain, no sorrow, no sickness, no tears, No darkness, each day is like a thousand years. Love you Shane, Mom By DJ French Shane's Mom 7/4/2006 .